How To Support My Child During Difficult Times
Many parents fear that when their child faces difficulties or adversities they will never be ok again, that their futures will be significantly impacted, that they failed their child and their child is ruined. This is simply not true!
When children experience adversity whether that is (parents divorce, trauma, grief/loss, global pandemic) yes, it can increase the chances for difficult outcomes in the future but we also know that with the right support and interventions, children are extremely resilient and can overcome difficult times and go on to have healthy and positive futures.
Though no parent wants to see their child struggling, shifting your perspective on how you view your child's difficulty, being aware of the messages you give to yourself and your child about the difficulty, and how you respond to your child during difficult times can be extremely impactful in helping them overcome this time in their lives.
Here are some ways you can help your child through difficult times:
Be aware of your emotions/thoughts
Checking in with your feelings allows you to be aware of them. Checking in with your thoughts is important because how you view your child has a huge impact on how your child views him/herself. If you are continuously telling yourself that your child is not going to be ok, your actions towards your child will align with this thought process. That is why it is important you are checking in with yourself and taking care of yourself first.
Open Communication
It is important that your child is able to express how they feel about the difficult experience and to know that you are there to listen. This shows your child that it is ok to talk about difficulties, that they are not alone and that their voice and feelings matter. Ask open ended questions, don’t push, and encourage your child to talk. Younger children may draw or play out their feelings and you can verbalize for them what you see they are trying to express to you.
Coping skills
Teach your child skills to utilize when experiencing distressing emotions that come with the difficult situation. Coping skills can include drawing, writing, deep breathing, art, coloring, talking etc. This shows your child that even when I am having tough feelings, I have tools to help myself feel better.
Expression of feelings
Allow your child to feel. It can be difficult to see your child showing difficult emotions but all feelings are important and you want your child to know that it is ok to be sad, cry, feel angry, or scared. It is ok to let them feel without you trying to fix it or make it go away. Also, do not be afraid to show your own emotions to your child in appropriate ways.
At Child Therapy Solutions, PLLC we specialize in helping children overcome difficult childhood experiences. When children are experiencing difficulties symptoms of anxiety, depression, fear or trauma can show up. If you are in need of additional support in helping you and your child through a difficult time, reach out to Child Therapy Solutions, PLLC in Charlotte, NC to find out how we can support you and your child on the journey to healing. You can start here!